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FOR ALL THE ‘OTHER MOTHERS’
Recognising ‘ALL’ Stepmothers/Other Mothers/ Spare mothers/ on Mother’s Day May 12th
Posted by: Phoebe Wallish
There are over a million of us living in step and blended families Anyone willing to take on the care of another’s child deserves our appreciation and recognition! Step and blended families start off as strangers however with care, patience, persistence, love and lots of time they can go on to build strong, supportive relationships.
Did you know:
Step and blended families are the fastest growing family type in Australia.
Did you know:
That if Bill Shorten becomes our next Prime Minister, it will be the FIRST stepfamily to live in the lodge!
Did you know:
Many families don’t like the word ‘Stepfamily’ and therefore don’t identify as being in a stepfamily. Making these families much more common then we think!
Mother’s Day is just one day of 365 days to recognise and acknowledge the role of all women and all female carers; mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, guardians, carers in their often unsung and unpaid roles as carers of Australian children. Biology is not the only determinant of family relationships, with contemporary Australian families coming in many different forms, histories and origins. Taking on the care of somebody’s children is always something that deserves our acknowledgement, respect, appreciation and celebration.
The work we do through Stepfamilies Australia (www.stepfamily.org.au) brings us in contact with many stepmothers and every year, as Mother’s Day approaches they ask for advice on how they should behave or the expectations they should have on Mother’s Day?
We say:
- The biological parents need to take the lead. On Mother’s Day or any other day, a child should not be coerced to thank their stepparent. Thanks, and acknowledgement towards all female carers should be encouraged from biological or primary parents
- Keep your expectations real. Stepparents start as strangers, relationships rely on history and shared experiences. The first 5 years are the trickiest time and these relationships are still forming.
- Be patient. Cards and presents are great, but this might take a while and will also depend on the age of the child/children. Children naturally feel guilty, like they are betraying their biological parent by giving cards and gifts to step parents.
- Use lots of communication. Silence breeds assumptions. It is so important to talk about these special days. Bring it up so the children know that its ok to thank their stepmum and also have the language to do so.
Our founder Margaret Howden has written an awesome book “Ossie’s World Upside Down” about a 10 year old boy, Ossie going through the process of being in a stepfamily. It is not only warm and funny but is great as a conversation starter with your children about the unique challenges that step and blended families face. Buy your copy from our website, all profits go towards helping other step and blended families https://stepfamily.org.au/book/ossies-world-upside-down/
On our Stepfamilies Australia website www.stepfamily.org.au you can find further information, tips, resources and links to advice and support that promote the best outcomes for children, young people, parents and stepparents.